Yes, I am indeed going to use this blog to whine about another Valentine's Day of being unhappily single. Why? Because I can, and because it's my blog, and because realistically no one is actually going to read this due to the whiny title.
...To those of you who may actually be reading this, I would advise you to go watch a sappy romance film instead. Might I suggest
Chocolat?
Now then, Valentine's Day is a holiday for lovers and stalkers - except not stalkers, because that's illegal - to show the ones they love how much they love them by throwing candies, cards, balloons, teddy bears, and the occasional surprise date at them like so many handfuls of roses. It's a time for small children to go to school and give their classmates little cutesy Valentines and Hershey kisses as a declaration of friendship (despite the fact that no one ever actually reads the cards except for the little teacher's pet who only gave or received Valentines at all because that's the tradition of younger school children and she doesn't dare defy even the stupid traditions because her classmates already treat her like the bloody Plague.)
Am I beginning to sound bitter? Sorry, it's very hard to get excited about an almost purely commercialist holiday that claims to promote love between friends, families, and especially horny teenagers who think they're in love but more often than not are merely going through a phase which will most likely end with the female half becoming emotionally and psychologically more mature than the male counterpart and therefore dumping him on his rump the next time he tries to cop a feel or calls her some stupid pet name like 'babe' or 'sugar' rather than her
actual name.
Yeah, I realize there are the same-sex relationships, too, but those ones never struck me as being phony or doomed to fail after only a few months. I dunno, maybe it's because I grew up in an area that looked so far down its nose on same-sex relationships that you couldn't have found the actual eyes if you climbed that nose for days. Chunky metaphor? Possibly. It's also very accurate once you finally work out what the hell I just said. When you do, you'll understand when I say that because in my 'home' town the same-sex relationships were always whispered about ("She's in a... partnership with that girl over there," always in
sotto voce and accompanied by shifty glances at the two girls - or guys, though that was less frequent where I lived - in question), I'm definitely more inclined to side with people who do identify themselves as homosexuals, considering the fact that there was also that matter of the little teacher's pet native to the valley and who was treated like the scum of the earth.
In any event, the same-sex relationships were the only ones who could openly celebrate Valentine's Day together while I was around to watch and who, in doing so, never made me feel unloved, ugly, broken, or generally unappealing to the gender I'm trying to attract. Again, this was probably because they seem to me to be less about sex (despite what the media and idiot politicians would like us to believe) and more about what's on the inside, and how can anyone use that as an excuse to mope about their own pathetically single status?
But this isn't about my shit childhood (well, it was better than some, but quite frankly it's hard to live in a town where literally
everyone knows who you are and ninety percent of them are waiting for you to fall flat on your face because you're
oh so perfect in their eyes and they want to blame all their failings on the fact that your family chose not to be a pile of shit), and it's not about the same-sex relationships (although, they
are relationships, not 'partnerships' or 'very close friendships' - let's call a romance a romance, shall we, folks?) This is about Valentine's Day sucking for anyone who's single.
And it does. It really does.
Quite frankly, the only upside to the holiday when you're uninvolved is the fact that candy goes down 50% for the next week afterwards, and while it pains me to encourage the way the stores seem to make love all about candies and sex (as opposed to, I dunno...
actual romantic feelings?), I have to admit there's nothing better than filling up on chocolate while watching a movie called
Chocolat and listening to breakup songs while you take Skype bets with your friends on the coast about how many of your collective acquaintances are going to be calling you up soon and telling you their significant other is either cheating on them or has just broken things off with them.
And for those of you wondering if I've
ever spent a Valentine's Day with a sweetheart (well don't all perk up at once, I didn't even name any names...), the answer is no. I've spent one Valentine's Day - five years ago - mourning the death of my grandmother the
night before, and I've spent another Valentine's Day - three years ago - finding out that the guy my former friend and set me up with was also helping that former friend (who had sworn to me he was single and always had been) cheat on her boyfriend.
Valentine's Day is not a holiday for me. It is a day when I remember the loved one I lost, the friend who betrayed me, and the so-called significant other who told me the truth after three weeks and right on the heels of a text that read, 'Will u b my valentine?'
But who knows? Maybe I will eventually find someone who's worth my time and the fight I will inevitably have to put up to make him mine, and maybe he'll feel the same for me, and maybe then I'll stop grousing about this holiday devoted to love, sex, and candy and start gussying myself up on February 14 for a special night with my special someone. In the meantime, I'll spend my days waiting for a miracle by watching cartoons and writing fanfictions that put the most gorgeous characters I can find in bed with each other for some one-on-one funtimes.
